Thursday, March 30, 2017

Expectations cause Misery

It is natural for human beings to have expectations, yet this very nature of humans bring untold misery to them. We often expect our loved ones to behave in a certain way. We have a certain image in our mind of how things should happen. We expect others to be grateful when we help them in their need. We have many expectations for our future.

If we take and analyze each one of these situations, it becomes obvious that all the frustration, the misery and the pain were caused due to expectations.

Taking the example of the behavior of a loved one, we often try to change the person to suit the mental image that we have in them. Each person in this Universe is a unique individual with unique characteristics.  By trying to change the person to suit our requirement is actually an attempt in vain. If we realize how difficult it is for us to change ourselves, we will realize the futility of attempting to change someone who is completely a different individual. It will not bring any positive outcome but frustration, misery and pain of mind, let alone distancing that will inevitably happen.

How to overcome such expectation and misery? By accepting the person as he/she is with unconditional love…. by not allowing the behavior of others to disturb our inner peace. When you allow the other person to be his/her natural self and accept the situation as it is, life becomes much more peaceful and a journey to celebrate. By not destroying the individuality of the other and giving them space to grow with unconditional love, people who earlier distanced themselves from us will again gravitate back to us because nothing is more healing than unconditional love.
It is good to have a goal in life and have a positive attitude. Many of us have a plan for the future and strive to achieve that. Perfect! While working hard to achieve our goals what we have to bear in mind is that, whatever happens to us, happens for a reason and for our highest good. If we reach our goal, we are happy. The same way if we fail to reach the goal, we must have the courage to accept that because there was a reason unknown to us that will divert our course to a much better path. Life does not end with failure. Failures are only stepping stones to success. Universe is so loving, when one door closes another door opens. Letting go of the past and accepting the present is the only way to overcome the misery caused by expectations.

When someone asks for help, some of us rush to respond.  It gives us immense pleasure to help someone in need and to see that person smiling. It is a most beautiful feeling to know that you are the reason for the smile. While rejoicing in the meritorious act, unconsciously we expect the other person to be grateful to us. When it does not happen, we feel disappointed and develop a negative feeling towards that person. What we have to keep in mind here is that no act is complete however good the intentions were, if it carried an expectation. The noblest act one can do is helping someone who can never repay us. Helping someone without expectation of any form of reward gives us joy immeasurable and will fill our life with inner peace and contentment.

To love without condition, to give without expectation, accept the present and let go of the past are the secrets to a blissful life.

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