It is natural for human beings to
have expectations, yet this very nature of humans bring untold misery to them.
We often expect our loved ones to behave in a certain way. We have a certain
image in our mind of how things should happen. We expect others to be grateful
when we help them in their need. We have many expectations for our future.
If we take and analyze each one of
these situations, it becomes obvious that all the frustration, the misery and
the pain were caused due to expectations.
Taking the example of the behavior
of a loved one, we often try to change the person to suit the mental image that
we have in them. Each person in this Universe is a unique individual with
unique characteristics. By trying to
change the person to suit our requirement is actually an attempt in vain. If we
realize how difficult it is for us to change ourselves, we will realize the
futility of attempting to change someone who is completely a different
individual. It will not bring any positive outcome but frustration, misery and
pain of mind, let alone distancing that will inevitably happen.
How to overcome such expectation
and misery? By accepting the person as he/she is with unconditional love…. by
not allowing the behavior of others to disturb our inner peace. When you allow
the other person to be his/her natural self and accept the situation as it is,
life becomes much more peaceful and a journey to celebrate. By not destroying
the individuality of the other and giving them space to grow with unconditional
love, people who earlier distanced themselves from us will again gravitate back
to us because nothing is more healing than unconditional love.
It is good to have a goal in life
and have a positive attitude. Many of us have a plan for the future and strive
to achieve that. Perfect! While working hard to achieve our goals what we have
to bear in mind is that, whatever happens to us, happens for a reason and for
our highest good. If we reach our goal, we are happy. The same way if we fail
to reach the goal, we must have the courage to accept that because there was a
reason unknown to us that will divert our course to a much better path. Life does
not end with failure. Failures are only stepping stones to success. Universe is
so loving, when one door closes another door opens. Letting go of the past and
accepting the present is the only way to overcome the misery caused by
expectations.
When someone asks for help, some
of us rush to respond. It gives us
immense pleasure to help someone in need and to see that person smiling. It is
a most beautiful feeling to know that you are the reason for the smile. While
rejoicing in the meritorious act, unconsciously we expect the other person to
be grateful to us. When it does not happen, we feel disappointed and develop a
negative feeling towards that person. What we have to keep in mind here is that
no act is complete however good the intentions were, if it carried an
expectation. The noblest act one can do is helping someone who can never repay
us. Helping someone without expectation of any form of reward gives us joy
immeasurable and will fill our life with inner peace and contentment.
To love without condition, to give
without expectation, accept the present and let go of the past are the secrets
to a blissful life.
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